Axolotl Translations

Wang Hao’s jaw practically hit the floor. “What?! What did you just say?! You—”

Shangguan Yu was no less shocked than Wang Hao. In fact, he might have been even more stunned. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect Zuo Zhou to just blurt it out like that—right in front of Wang Hao, without a moment’s hesitation!

Zuo Zhou, on the other hand, remained perfectly at ease, flashing Wang Hao a bright, reassuring smile. “Mm-hmm, I told Brother Yu I like him, he turned me down, and now he feels awkward around me. So, he wants me to move out.”

“You—you like—Shangguan?” Wang Hao stammered, tripping over his own words.

“Yep.” Zuo Zhou nodded, his expression turning slightly shy, almost bashful, as he added, “That kind of like.”

The kind of like that made him want to touch him, kiss him, devour him whole.

Wang Hao, now fully aware of this shocking revelation, found himself momentarily speechless. His eyes darted to Shangguan Yu, desperate to gauge his reaction.

Shangguan Yu had managed—just barely—to regain a semblance of composure. He fixed Zuo Zhou with a stern look. “You… saying this changes nothing.”

“I know,” Zuo Zhou responded earnestly. “I’m not trying to change anything. You’re the one who wants to change things.”

Completely caught off guard, Shangguan Yu: …

Zuo Zhou turned back to Wang Hao, looking at him expectantly. “Brother Hao, since you’re here, why don’t you help me talk some sense into Brother Yu? Sure, he rejected my confession, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stay and take care of him. I mean, where else is he going to find a better housekeeper than me, right?”

“Uh?” Wang Hao, suddenly put on the spot, blinked in confusion and hesitated. “Well, actually, if we’re talking about how this affects things…”

Shangguan Yu’s voice cut in sharply. “Wang Hao!”

“Ah! Yeah, it definitely has an impact!” Wang Hao, who had been wavering a moment ago, immediately firmed up his stance. “I mean, come on—you just… you know! You can’t expect everyone to just act like nothing happened as quickly as you do, right?”

Zuo Zhou wasn’t the least bit upset at Wang Hao for switching sides. Instead, he nodded in full agreement and said with a deep sense of understanding, “Brother Hao is right. I can’t ask Brother Yu to just move on like nothing happened. But I only want to stay so I can take care of him. The idea of handing him over to some other housekeeper—I just wouldn’t be able to relax. Besides, as long as Brother Yu disagrees, I won’t do anything else. I’ll respect his decision.”

That last sentence carried a slightly… ambiguous undertone. Wang Hao—a straight guy with a girlfriend, unsure where his thoughts had just wandered—felt his face flush slightly.

Zuo Zhou glanced at Wang Hao’s reaction, then turned to Shangguan Yu. Standing up, he casually announced, “Brother Yu, I’ll leave you two to talk. We’re out of groceries, so I’ll head to the supermarket and see what’s available.”

With that, he even politely bid Wang Hao farewell before heading into the kitchen to grab his absurdly ugly, grandma-style shopping cart.

Wang Hao was clearly taken aback by the sheer ugliness of the thing—his eyes stayed glued to it for a long moment, as if trying to process what he was seeing. It wasn’t until Zuo Zhou finally rolled it out the door that Wang Hao slowly snapped out of his daze and turned to Shangguan Yu.

“…So, he really just… walked out with that grandma cart?”

Shangguan Yu let out an almost inaudible sigh and rubbed his forehead. “That thing was a freebie from the supermarket when I bought milk. It’s handy when there’s a lot to carry.”

Wang Hao frowned, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Still, he forced himself to agree, albeit unconvincingly. “Uh… yeah. Super convenient.”

“……”

“……”

An awkward silence stretched between them. After what felt like an eternity, Wang Hao broke it. “Hey, Shangguan, you don’t have to rush this decision, you know.”

Shangguan Yu glanced at him but said nothing.

“Come on, don’t glare at me. Just hear me out.” Wang Hao rubbed his face, scooted his chair closer, and lowered his voice as if about to divulge a grand secret. “Look, the thing is, Xiao Zuo likes you. Of course he wants to stay by your side. And let’s be honest, he takes damn good care of you. Even most couples wouldn’t go this far.”

“You don’t like him, so you want him to leave. That makes sense. But you’ve dated Xu Jun before, so it’s not like you’re straight. Maybe you could at least… consider—”

Shangguan Yu shot him a fierce glare.

Wang Hao immediately shut his mouth. He even made a zipping motion across his lips, signaling he was done talking. But just ten seconds later, he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“So tell me, why don’t you like Xiao Zuo? I mean, compared to Xu Jun, he’s not any worse, right? He’s got the looks, the height, everything. Sure, he’s still in college, but who knows? Maybe in the future, he’ll be super successful…”

Shangguan Yu listened as Wang Hao’s words became increasingly absurd, and he had no choice but to cut him off. “Alright, shut up already. He’s how old? And I’m how old? There’s no way.”

“He’s… in his second year of college? So, 20? And you’re 28. Hmm… yeah, that’s quite the age gap.” Wang Hao stroked his chin thoughtfully. “But I don’t get it. I’m just curious—do you guys in the gay community also care about age gaps? It’s not like you’re having kids. What’s the difference between a two-year gap and a ten-year one? As long as you like each other, that should be enough, right?”

“……”

Shangguan Yu’s brain momentarily short-circuited. He had no idea how to even respond to Wang Hao’s bizarre logic. “What kind of nonsense are you talking about? It’s impossible between us. I’ve only ever seen him as a younger brother. I’m the one who’s been financially supporting him through college. The first time I met him, he was just a kid.”

“But that ‘little brother’ of yours is an adult now,” Wang Hao persisted, refusing to back down. “And he’s grown into a damn fine young man—handsome, tall, and charismatic. He’s willing to be with you, so why not just give it a shot? Honestly, you wouldn’t be losing out with Xiao Zuo. Even if you two break up in a few years, at least for now, you’d have someone taking care of you. And I wouldn’t have to worry about you anymore.”

“………………”

Shangguan Yu felt like he had invited a traitor into his home. “Give me the car keys. Get out.”

“Hey, don’t be mad! I was just being honest.” Wang Hao quickly put on a fawning smile when he saw Shangguan Yu’s expression darken. “The car’s still in the shop, though. I don’t even have the keys on me.”

“If you really want Xiao Zuo to move out, I can talk to him again. It’s your house. It’s not like he can just squat here forever.”

Despite Wang Hao’s words, Shangguan Yu had already decided not to trust him anymore.

“Just give me the keys when the car’s fixed. I’ll handle it myself.”

Wang Hao threw up his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine, whatever you say. You’re the boss!”

The two of them sat in a silent standoff for a while before Zuo Zhou finally strolled in, pushing his granny-style shopping cart at a leisurely pace.

Seeing that Wang Hao was still there, Zuo Zhou wasn’t surprised. Flashing a bright smile, he greeted him, “I bought sushi. Want a late-night snack?”

Wang Hao had planned to maintain a stern facade around Zuo Zhou—after all, he had just firmly sided with Shangguan Yu. But after rushing over straight from work, playing the role of the ever-loyal best friend, and engaging in this lengthy heart-to-heart, he was genuinely starving.

So, the moment he heard the magic words “sushi” and “late-night snack,” he abandoned all pretense and eagerly turned to Zuo Zhou. “Yes, yes! Do you have wasabi?”

“Yup! The server gave me a ton of sample packs.” Zuo Zhou nodded, then turned to Shangguan Yu. “Brother Yu, I also got your favorite salmon sashimi. Eat it while it’s fresh?”

Shangguan Yu took one look at Wang Hao practically drooling and knew there was no way he could count on him to help evict Zuo Zhou. Letting out a resigned sigh, he furrowed his brows, ignored Zuo Zhou entirely, and simply wheeled himself back into his room.

Behind him, Zuo Zhou’s voice rang out earnestly, “Brother Yu, I’ll freeze it for you! You can have it for lunch tomorrow!”

Wang Hao: “No, no, no! It won’t be fresh by then. Sashimi needs to be eaten fresh. Just give it to me—I’ll do Shangguan a favor and eat it for him!”

Zuo Zhou looked conflicted but firmly refused. “But this stuff is expensive! I only buy it once a week because Brother Yu likes it…”

Wang Hao probably went on to rant about how stingy and tight-fisted Zuo Zhou was, but Shangguan Yu didn’t hear the rest. He had already returned to his room and shut the door.

The next morning, Shangguan Yu wheeled himself around the house, but Zuo Zhou was nowhere to be seen. However, breakfast had been prepared and was kept warm in a pot.

As if worried Shangguan Yu wouldn’t notice, Zuo Zhou had left a large note on the dining table that read:

“Brother Yu, I went to school. Make sure you eat when you wake up. 😊”

At that moment, Shangguan Yu couldn’t quite articulate what he was feeling. It was a tangled mess, swelling inside him until it felt like his heart might burst.

On one hand, he wanted to keep Zuo Zhou at arm’s length. He still saw him as the little brother who needed his care, someone he wanted to support financially—but nothing more. He couldn’t accept the idea that the little coal ball from before had grown into someone who harbored romantic feelings for him.

He didn’t want Zuo Zhou to waste his time on him.

Just like Wang Hao had asked yesterday—since he was gay, why was it impossible for him to like Zuo Zhou?

The answer was simple.

He wasn’t capable of loving anyone.

He was broken. His love would only be a burden, a weight dragging someone else down.

What he feared most was becoming a burden to Zuo Zhou. He would rather keep things exactly as they were.

And yet, at the same time, he couldn’t help but crave Zuo Zhou’s care. Whether he admitted it or not, Zuo Zhou truly took care of him—inside and out.

Even though he prided himself on being independent, he knew it would take him a long time to readjust to being alone if Zuo Zhou were to leave for good.

Like now, for example. Zuo Zhou had only been gone for a few hours, and yet the house already felt too empty, too quiet.

Taking a deep breath, Shangguan Yu set the note aside, took his seat, and began eating breakfast.

A week passed in this manner. During this time, Shangguan Yu had brought up the idea of Zuo Zhou moving back to the dorms a few times, but each time, Zuo Zhou would smile and firmly refuse.

Although Shangguan Yu secretly cherished Zuo Zhou’s presence, he believed that Zuo Zhou’s future was far more important. So, he continued to respond to Zuo Zhou’s kindness with indifference, hoping that the cold treatment would eventually make him give up and leave.

Then came Saturday. The note Zuo Zhou left today said he was going to school for driving practice, but Shangguan Yu didn’t think much of it. The days of the week didn’t really matter to him. He spent his time strolling around the house, tending to his plants, and watching TV.

It wasn’t until a little past 4 p.m. that Zuo Zhou returned.

Hearing the door open, Shangguan Yu instinctively reached for the remote and turned off the TV. He was about to retreat to his room to maintain his distant act, but just as he started to move, he heard Zuo Zhou’s voice—soft, pitiful, and filled with grievance.

“Brother Yu…”

Shangguan Yu didn’t want to turn around. But that voice—it held some kind of magic. Ignoring it made him feel like the coldest, most heartless person alive.

So, he turned back.

And the moment he did, all his carefully maintained indifference shattered. His eyes widened as he blurted out in shock, “What happened to you?!”

Zuo Zhou was wearing the black down jacket Shangguan Yu had bought him, but the fabric on the chest and elbows was torn, white goose feathers spilling out. His chin was injured, streaked with fresh red blood against his unnaturally pale skin. Even his pants were filthy, as if they had been scraped harshly against the ground.

Zuo Zhou, so tall and usually so composed, stood in the entryway looking utterly miserable. He met Shangguan Yu’s gaze for a moment, then—unbelievably—rubbed at the corner of his eye and said pitifully, “I was practicing at the driving school today. One of the students mistook the accelerator for the brake… and hit me.”

“You got hit by a car?!” Shangguan Yu’s voice nearly cracked with alarm. He hurriedly maneuvered his wheelchair over, tilting his head up to assess the damage—the torn jacket, the scraped chin, the lingering blood.

“Why is it still bleeding? Didn’t they take care of it at the school?”

“No,” Zuo Zhou shook his head. “The driving school didn’t have anything for that.”

Shangguan Yu frowned, setting aside everything else. He reached out, tugged at Zuo Zhou’s sleeve, and said firmly, “Sit down on the couch. Stay there. I’ll get the first aid kit.”

With that, Shangguan Yu hurried over to the cabinet by the dining table, frantically searching for the kit.

What he didn’t see—what he completely missed—was the way Zuo Zhou glanced down at his own sleeve, at the spot where Shangguan Yu had just grabbed him.

And the tiny, almost imperceptible smile that flickered across his lips.

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