Axolotl Translations

The wine had left its mark. Most of the spilled drinks were red and grape wine, and even after wiping, the stains remained—dark, prominent splotches on the fabric. Ruan Zhao lifted his wrist and sniffed. The heavy scent of alcohol made him cough lightly. “…Ugh, it smells awful.”

There was no way he could go home wearing a shirt soaked in wine. His mother had a strong aversion to the smells of alcohol and cigarettes. Before he left for the party, she’d repeatedly warned him against drinking anything. Not only had he succumbed to a small glass, but now his entire shirt reeked of booze. If he went home like this, she’d probably think he had downed a lot of drinks and label him a rebellious troublemaker.

“…Gu Xingyan.” Ruan Zhao turned to him, his eyes filled with anticipation as he made his request. “Can I wear your shirt?”

Gu Xingyan: “……Then what am I supposed to wear?”

Ruan Zhao’s reaction was delayed, as if the words took a moment to register. After a brief pause, he finally realized—if Gu Xingyan gave him his shirt, he would have to go home half-naked. “…Oh.” Disappointment flickered across his face.

Tonight, Ruan Zhao was unusually subdued. No backtalk, no bossing Gu Xingyan around, no sudden outbursts of temper. When Gu Xingyan told him to wait, he obediently stood still, not moving an inch—his large, misty eyes fixed on him, unblinking, as if awaiting further instructions.

It was as if his eyes were pleading, Can’t I go with you? Gu Xingyan looked away, steeling himself. “No.” The storage room was for staff only. Bringing in outsiders could cost him his job.

……

Gu Xingyan was gone for less than two minutes, just long enough to collect his belongings. Yet, upon his return, Ruan Zhao acted as if he’d been waiting an eternity, drawing out his words in a prolonged complaint. “You’re so slooow.”

“If you’d taken any longer, I was going to leave with Chen Feng.” Chen Feng had offered—repeatedly—to take him home. Ruan Zhao had declined every time. Once he’d made up his mind, he was resolute. He’d said he would wait for Gu Xingyan to finish work, so no matter what, he was going to wait. Besides, Chen Feng had been excessively loud, chattering incessantly. Eventually, Ruan Zhao had become so exasperated that he simply shooed him away.

Gu Xingyan asked, “Then why didn’t you go with him?”

Ruan Zhao replied matter-of-factly, “Because I promised to wait for you. Leaving early would be breaking my word.”

He’d said a lot, but Gu Xingyan only truly registered two words: wait for you. His heart rate quickened. His body temperature rose. Which was absurd—he hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol, yet he suddenly felt slightly intoxicated. Taking a slow, deliberate breath, he regained control of his breathing, suppressing the unfamiliar, complex emotions stirring within him.

Gu Xingyan slowly approached Ruan Zhao. Oblivious to Gu Xingyan’s subtle shift in demeanor, Ruan Zhao asked, “So, are you off work now?”

“Mm.” Even a single syllable was enough to reveal the raspiness in his voice.

“I just need to hand over my shift.”

Ruan Zhao immediately grasped his arm. “I’m coming with you.” Like a small shadow, he remained close to Gu Xingyan, following his every move—almost as if he feared being left behind again, waiting alone as before. Noticing Ruan Zhao’s unsteady gait, Gu Xingyan deliberately slowed his pace. Now, the two were practically inseparable.

The shift handover was straightforward. He simply had to clock out with his fingerprint and brief the incoming staff member. After that, he was free to go. While Gu Xingyan handled the transfer, Ruan Zhao trailed behind, his eyes wide with curiosity, fascinated by everything.

The person taking over his shift was a college student working part-time. Noticing the boy practically glued to Gu Xingyan’s back, a flicker of curiosity crossed her face. She remembered Gu Xingyan—handsome, capable, and hardworking. But quiet. He always kept to himself, rarely speaking, almost naturally withdrawn… This was the first time she’d ever seen him with someone. Was it a friend? Or perhaps… his little brother?

Ruan Zhao noticed the girl’s gaze and offered her a friendly smile. He was already handsome, but his smile had an indescribable effect—like a spring breeze melting winter’s frost, effortlessly dispelling any lingering gloom.

The girl, who’d spent the entire day in class only to rush to a late-night shift, suddenly felt her exhaustion lift. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a lollipop, offering it to Ruan Zhao. “You have such a cute smile, little brother. Here, this is for you.”

Ruan Zhao accepted it with a sweet, “Thank you, sis.” The wrapper was stubbornly sealed. Having just trimmed his nails the day before, he struggled to open it. Eventually, he resorted to biting it, but managed only to tear off a tiny piece of plastic.

Gu Xingyan took the candy from him without a word. Following the marks where Ruan Zhao had bitten, he peeled back the wrapper effortlessly and placed the lollipop back in Ruan Zhao’s palm. “Here. Eat.”

“Thanks.” His voice was soft, like a feather brushing against the heart, leaving a faint, ticklish sensation. This was the first time Ruan Zhao had thanked him. He must be truly drunk. Gu Xingyan was unaccustomed to seeing him like this—it was almost as if a few kind words and a piece of candy were enough to lure him away.

With so many people coming and going in the bar, passersby were bound to stare openly at Ruan Zhao. Gu Xingyan didn’t like it. For every person who stared, Gu Xingyan stared back. Perhaps his gaze was too intense, because they never lingered, shifting their eyes away awkwardly and hurrying past.

Still, he wasn’t reassured.

Every so often, Gu Xingyan would glance back to make sure Ruan Zhao was still following him. But his frequent stops caused Ruan Zhao to stumble, bumping into his back repeatedly. Gu Xingyan’s back was firm, a lean layer of muscle beneath his shirt. After one too many collisions, Ruan Zhao finally lost his patience.

“Why do you keep looking back? Is there gold back there or something? Can’t you just walk properly?” His tone was soft, with a slight nasal rasp from the alcohol, making even his complaints sound like a gentle plea for attention.

Gu Xingyan lowered his lashes and quietly admitted, “I was afraid you’d get lost.”

Ruan Zhao: “…” Speechless. He knew he wasn’t at his sharpest—his brain was working half a beat slower than usual—but he was still perfectly capable of functioning. He refused to accept that Gu Xingyan was treating him like a little kid.

After a moment’s thought, he reached out and grasped Gu Xingyan’s sleeve, his fingers curling around the fabric until it was securely clutched in his palm. “There. Now you can stop worrying.” Feeling quite pleased with himself, Ruan Zhao thought he was a genius for coming up with such a clever solution.

But then—he felt Gu Xingyan’s fingers slide up, loosely encircling his own. The grip was gentle, perceptible but easily broken. Heat spread from Gu Xingyan’s fingertips. It was a comforting warmth.

Ruan Zhao froze, staring blankly at their intertwined hands, his mind a tangled mess—like a ball of yarn after a playful tussle with a kitten.

It felt like he was contemplating a multitude of things. Or perhaps… he was simply lost in the moment, his mind a blank canvas. He just stood there, momentarily dazed. Then, he heard Gu Xingyan’s voice.

“This way is safer.”

…Was it? He couldn’t discern whose hand was warmer, but after some time, the heat between their palms grew slightly damp with a thin film of perspiration. They walked hand-in-hand like that until they reached the deserted street. Only then did Gu Xingyan release his hand.

It wasn’t particularly late. The city’s nightlife was just beginning to stir. Neon lights flickered, painting the pavement in vibrant hues. A cool night breeze swept past, and Ruan Zhao’s mind cleared. The haziness that had clung to him all evening dissipated, leaving his head feeling remarkably clear.

He bit down on the last of the lollipop, crushing it between his teeth, then tossed the stick into a nearby trash can. Recalling how he’d been clinging to Gu Xingyan like sticky candy, a wave of embarrassment washed over him.

He’d intended to simply walk away. But then, he heard Gu Xingyan call out behind him. “Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“You’re just going back like that?”

“…What else?”

Gu Xingyan hesitated for a moment. “I live nearby.”

“Oh.”

“Your clothes…” His gaze drifted over the prominent stains on Ruan Zhao’s shirt. “If your mother sees them, she’ll likely worry.”

Ruan Zhao suddenly recalled—earlier, he’d insisted on wearing Gu Xingyan’s shirt, even suggesting he remove it then and there. When Gu Xingyan refused, he’d settled on a compromise: following him home to borrow something clean. But now… Ruan Zhao looked around, realizing that all the clothing stores on the street were closed. It seemed… going home with Gu Xingyan was his only option.

……

Gu Xingyan’s home was in an older residential area. They navigated a series of quiet, narrow streets to reach it. The building itself wasn’t very tall—just seven floors. But Gu Xingyan lived on the sixth floor. And there was no elevator.

The stairwell was dimly lit, motion-activated lights flickering on and off with each step. The iron handrails were rusted in places, the corrosion clearly visible. The walls were plastered with small advertisements and phone numbers scribbled in black marker. Ruan Zhao tilted his head back and noticed a long, deep crack running along the wall. Fine plaster dust flaked off constantly, drifting down like powder. Some of it landed in his eye.

No matter how much he blinked, he couldn’t get it out. Within seconds, his eyes were red and tears began to spill uncontrollably.He instinctively reached up to rub them, but that only made it worse. With no other choice, he turned to Gu Xingyan for help.

“Gu Xingyan…”

“My eyes… something got in them.”

Gu Xingyan: “…” I look away for a second, and you’ve already managed to get yourself into trouble.

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